Life-Love 96: Missing someone

We spend so much of time focused on the future. We are told to keep our noses to the grindstone, our eyes on the prize, and make sure that everything we do has future-focus. While this attitude and approach to life can assure that we will expedite the achievement of our goals, it can also narrow the focus of our dreams and our imagination. Being so focused also makes it difficult to appreciate those around us. We tend to reduce our appreciation of them, not see them in the fullness of what they bring to us.

Sometimes we even dismiss the people around us, or avoid them because we worry that they will detract from laser focus on our goals. We do this and don’t even notice it. We don’t see the longing looks that people give us, the extra moment they tarry at our door before they walk away at the end of the day, the wide-eyes – deep pools of feeling – that are turned upon us. We don’t bathe in the depths of that affection, rather we shrug it off and get back to work. Or, we aren’t sure if expressing or noticing the depth of another’s feeling towards us is appropriate and we allow ourselves to be bounded by the strictures of propriety.

There are moments, however, when we break through the boundaries of our ambitions, our focus and of propriety. Sometimes we are struck by how much we miss someone.

It generally happens in an unexpected moment. And it is most acute when you feel otherwise happy and secure. For when you feel anxious, fragile or unwell, it is natural to miss those around you, but those feelings are suspect because they are born of weakness and dependence.

Rather, it is when the pangs of longing for another’s company, her hand, her face in proximity to yours, strike you during sunny and secure moments, perhaps even during moments of victory or celebration, that you know how real your feelings for that person are.

When you are in the company of good acquaintances at dinner, or during dinner after a successful day of meetings and business – these are moments when you should be satisfied and comfortable, when we should enjoy a glass of wine in peace. Perhaps at the movies, a concert or at the opera, and experiencing something beautiful and inspiring – your heart is sent soaring by the art you are witnessing. But all is not right in what should be a delicious moment.

When memory of a person or a yearning to have them here with you, sharing the moment of victory, or quiet transcends your appreciation of the moment – you know that you truly miss someone. You feel changed. You feel as though you are deeper. You are suddenly happy to know that the person you miss exists in the world – a realization that makes the world suddenly seem a lot more full of beauty and possibility. You can’t wait to see the person again.

This is an electric moment.

For you have discovered something beautiful, because you’re feeling something exquisitely human. Someone has touched your heart and left an indelible mark.

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